Walking with Wayne, or Mindfulness at Learning Forward

Today I made a plan to use my time in between the start of breakfast (7:30am) and the start of my first session (10:00am) to go explore the nearby Stanley Park.  It’s about a 20-minute walk along the waterfront from the Vancouver Convention Centre to the park, and it was forecast to be a bright, sunny day today!  So I donned my hiking boots with my business-casual-wear and headed off to grab a quick breakfast before exploring.

The short walk from my hotel to the Convention Centre showed me, though, that the after-effects of yesterday’s surprise snowstorm were still in play–while the city sidewalks were salted and clear, the water’s-edge walk was covered with a thin sheet of ice.  I realized that it would be not only a slow, treacherous walk to the park, but that the park walkways and trails were likely even worse to navigate.  Ok, fine, I thought, I’ll stay at the Conference Centre, get that morning blog post out while I eat breakfast, and wait for the sun to come up a little further.  So I waited, and at about 8:40, I decided it was now or never–I would have just enough time to get to the park and explore a bit, and still make it back for my 10:00 session.

I set out, power-walking to the west.  I made it to the park in that 20 minutes, but promptly had to slow down.  As I suspected, the park trails were still solid ice.  I tromped along on the grass wherever I could, and grew increasingly more stressed–I was nervous about falling, about being late to get back, and about trying to navigate wooded trails on my own.  I was angry and upset about the realization that I would not get to see very much of the park at all before having to turn back.  I couldn’t find the trail I had planned to take, instead getting stuck walking along a main road.  This wasn’t the experience I wanted!  This was my only chance to see the park, and it was bombing.

I’ve never had formal training in mindfulness, but I thought I had sort of gathered the gist of things–as I realized I was close to tears, I started taking deep breaths.  I started telling myself, it’s ok that it’s not what you planned.  That is disappointing, and that’s ok.  Around this time, I did find a trail that took me off the main road, so I ducked down it.  I studied the scenery as I walked, and noticed how gorgeous this temperate rainforest is.  Lo and behold, I came to the lake I had been trying to find, and while I knew I didn’t have time to continue to the north trail, I found the southern one to start looping back towards home.  I took some pictures. Once I got back to the main (icy) walkways, I came across an older man gingerly picking his way as the walk sloped downhill.

“It’s an adventure out here, isn’t it?” I called out.

“Yes, and you don’t want to fall on your arse!” he crowed back.  His name is Wayne, he is 65 years old, and he sports a precisely waxed handlebar mustache.  He was born and raised in Vancouver, but only recently moved back.  I asked him to point me on the best route back to downtown, and he offered to show me, as he was headed there himself.  His pace was much slower than what I needed to be going (or so I thought), and my anxiety went ratcheting back up.  But as we meandered along the path, Wayne told me stories about riding an Amtrak train to the east coast and then along the eastern seaboard for six months, and how he used to be a hippie and once hitchhiked through California to Mexico.  We talked about American politics, and how Canada had to keep an eye on things, “like the bear and the mouse, eh?”  He took me past the lost lagoon, and we came face-to-face with a heron, who I didn’t even see until he hopped nervously to put a few feet of distance between us.  I decided it was ok if I was late to my session.  Wayne made me slow down, made me connect with someone, and was thoroughly enjoyable to talk to!

When we did finally part ways, I hurried back up, and checked the time on my phone–I still had 20 minutes to get back to the Convention Centre.  I made it into my session with three minutes to spare, and then in the session learned about professional development trends towards the mind, body, and soul.  The instructors shared with us the acronym SNAPP–Stop, Notice (what you’re feeling), Allow (the feelings to be there), Penetrate (with deep breathing), and Prompt (compassionate action).  I had unknowingly followed those steps, which allowed me to enjoy my time at Stanley Park.  And in the very next activity, I was asked by a fellow participant, “What lesson is life teaching you right now?”

What lesson is life teaching you right now?

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What Scared Me About a Professional Conference

I am in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, attending my first-ever major professional conference! When I started my new position in the summer, it was written into my contract that I was to continue my own professional learning by attending one national conference a year. I asked around, and it quickly became clear that Learning Forward was the preeminent conference that focused specifically on the professional learning and development of educators, and one that could not be missed. When I found out this year’s conference would be in Vancouver, it was a no-brainer—sign me up!

I’ve been looking forward to this conference for months, but as my date of departure got closer, anxieties began to crop up. I was very nervous about “doing it right,” because I’d never had the opportunity to attend a conference before and wasn’t sure what to expect! Now, on the morning of Day 2 of the conference, those anxieties are subsiding. Here are a few of my biggest worries, and how I know it will turn out just fine:

I want to make it abundantly clear that I am fully engaged in the professional learning—I don’t want anyone to think I’m slacking off on the conference and enjoying a vacation! Perhaps this wouldn’t be as big of a concern if the conference were in, say, Cleveland. But it does cost my district a decent amount of money to send me to Vancouver and put me up in a hotel for the four days I’m here. In the days leading up to the trip, I started planning some systems for how I would demonstrate my strictly professional focus: I would keep a running reflection journal, and share it with my boss! I would be tweeting constantly! I would be using every break to stay on top of the emails accumulating from “real-life work” back home! But after just one day participating in the conference, I’m realizing I didn’t need to worry so much. First of all, it was gently suggested to me that perhaps it wouldn’t be very helpful for me to share my reflection journal with my boss—picking out some key points and highlights to share would be more powerful. As far as Twitter goes, I did tweet a bit, when I had a moment and there was a particularly pithy sentiment that I could get across in 140 characters. Using the breaks to keep up with the work of my job? Um, that didn’t happen so much…I kept an eye on email, but really used my breaks to network, to continue conversations, and to recharge (more on that later). But the big realization I had yesterday was that I didn’t need to try to create ways to demonstrate my learning to my colleagues back home—the opportunities would arise naturally from the work I am doing here at the conference. Yesterday, I spent five hours learning about Linking Walks, an evolution of Learning Walks or Instructional Rounds. There was so much good information in that session, and so much immediately relevant to my work back home, that I am drafting a presentation to share with my superintendent and the union president, and then hopefully to bring back to our Learning Walkthrough Task Force. I see now that I don’t need to try to construct evidence of my learning just to show I’m not fooling around here—I can bring back actionable ideas that move our work forward.

It’s going to be exhausting to be “on” all the time! Trying to make conversation with strangers is scary, and exhausting to me. I am not one of those people who is good at schmoozing. As I thought about this conference, I imagined how difficult it was going to be for me to be going from meet-and-greet events to 2-3-hour learning sessions (where I have to be focused!) to more meet-and-greets, and repeat for three days! But again, I’m finding that my worry was unwarranted. This experience has been truly exhilarating, not exhausting. Of course it is still not easy to enter a ballroom with 3,200+ educators, and find a table to sit at for lunch. But once I do find a table with an open seat, the educators there are warm and welcoming and become part of my learning experience.  I’m getting to know so many fascinating people from all over the country and around the world, who are doing amazing work for students.  And you know what? When I do need time to recharge (figuratively, and literally—it’s hard to keep the phone and computer going all day!), the lovely Vancouver Conference Centre has tons of cozy chairs and tables, and I can find a spot to sit and rest and reflect before moving on to the next event. So I am finding the balance that works for me, but it’s a very different balance than I imagined—I am gaining so much from the interactions I have with the people I meet!

Finally, I’ve never been to Vancouver before! I don’t want to spend the whole time at the convention center! This worry is exacerbated by the first one—I know I’m here for business, but (as I’ve explored before) I believe so much learning comes from traveling and seeing new places! How do I reconcile the two? First, I had to come to grips with the fact that since the conference ends at 4:30 every day, I would not be able to do much sightseeing in the daylight. So I picked my #1 must-see place (Capilano Suspension Bridge Park, if you’re curious), and on Wednesday when the conference ends an hour earlier, I’m going to jet out to see as much as I can of the park before the sun sets. I’m also making the most of my time by conducting a self-guided culinary tour of the city, seeking out yummy restaurants in different neighborhoods for dinner each night. The city is decorated for the holidays, and nighttime walks on the water or through the city are absolutely beautiful. And today, I’m pushing the envelope on business casual by wearing my hiking boots (Working Girl, Canada style, I call it); I have a two-hour break between breakfast and my first session, and instead of staying inside the conference center and getting work done, I’m going to explore the nearby Stanley Park. I’ll get the work done in the afternoon, when it’s too dark to hike!

What do you worry about, when preparing for business travel? Or am I the only one who worries about these things?? Please share!

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Personalized Professional Learning

As we shift schooling back to the student, with differentiated instruction and project-based learning, it makes sense that we follow the same trend with professional development for teachers–self-directed, highly relevant, differentiated learning opportunities.  Now, for some people and districts, personalized professional learning means a tech-heavy approach: everyone selects the online courses and trainings they want, and completes them independently on their own time.  Sure, that can be extremely differentiated, and choice-based, but…is it high-leverage?  Does that learning stick, does it get implemented in the classroom, and result in positive outcomes for student learning? How do we know?

Luckily, my district understands that while tech-rich trainings can be valuable, and offer more flexibility for busy adult learners, the crux of powerful professional learning lies in collaboration with colleagues.  We believe that when learning is done collaboratively with teammates, there is a much higher rate of return when it comes to teacher satisfaction, classroom implementation, and impact on student learning.  That’s why, in our professional development offerings, it’s possible that you’ll find an online course–but if you sign up for it, you are placed into a cohort of colleagues that meets regularly to discuss, share, and reflect upon the online content!

All of this was a very long intro to my favorite day of personalized professional learning.  Last week, about 1,000 educators came to the high school for our professional day, #lexlearns16.  The day has an opening convocation, followed by two breakout sessions, lunch, then a third breakout session.  During each breakout session, educators had the choice of attending between 45-48 different sessions, for a total of 138 sessions facilitated entirely by our own faculty.  Two hundred eight facilitators.  It was AMAZING.  There were sessions on: mindfulness, productive struggle, quality questioning, Hamilton, #BLM, robotics, writing fiction, diversity in literature, using SMART technology, supporting transgender students, badminton, homework, playing a string instrument, standards-based grading, math problem-solving, integrated performance assessments, Google Classroom, the list goes on and on.  The expertise we have in our own district is awe-inspiring.  For much of the day, I was busy behind-the-scenes, but during the third breakout session, I took a moment and just walked the second floor of the main building, where classroom after classroom was filled with educators engaged in learning from one another about a variety of topics, and it was truly powerful.

Of course, the day had some glitches!  Registration for one thousand educators into 138 sessions is tricky.  Registration opened at 5:00 p.m. on a Monday, and by 5:30 all five mindfulness courses were full.  Many other “hot” classes filled up quickly as well, and we ended up with educators not being able to take their first, or second, or third choices because the classes were capped and closed.  That certainly makes the day less relevant and enjoyable  for some people.  In addition, facilitating a session takes time for preparation and planning–teachers and staff volunteer for this, and do this on their own time.  We know how busy teachers are, and it’s hard to ask them (beg them) to take on this one more thing on top of all they are already doing for their schools and students.  So there are certainly things to look at on the logistical side of this event, to keep improving.

But the feedback!

“What a gift to have a day to learn from each other.”  

“One of my favorite things is that we can come together across schools and across grade levels to discuss things that impact all of us and our students.”  

“The sessions that I attended energized me as a professional. They were outside of my specific teaching discipline, so they allowed me to gain a different perspective and nurture other interests.”

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A Hamilton flash mob, during the convocation.  To quote an audience member, who starts PD days like this??  We do! 

I have no doubt that this collaborative, teacher-driven model of professional learning is one of the most high-leverage models districts can engage in.  In addition, as coordinator of professional learning, I get to take the feedback from the day and start to think about how to continue the conversation through other avenues of professional development.  Can we turn a 75-minute session into a 1-credit course?  Can a #lexlearns16 discussion spin off into a book group? or a PLC?  Let’s try it!  I’m completely energized and excited to craft the professional learning opportunities that will enhance and deepen the learning initiated on this one day.  Personalized professional learning is absolutely the PD of the future, but we can’t think that means educators should learn and apply on their own, in a bubble.  Collaboration is key–we know this for our students, so it should be no surprise that we need it as adults, too!

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Trolls and Elections and Feminism

I got into an argument with a Facebook troll today.  I don’t know why I even started–I know it’s pointless, that these people are out there to get a reaction, not to engage in civilized discourse or learn something new.  But I got so infuriated by a set of comments, I couldn’t help myself, and before you know it, there I was: spending time crafting evidence-based, reasoned comments (with only a hint of jabbiness, I promise!), and getting back insults in reply.

The backstory: A professor at the college I attended was filmed making comments before class encouraging students to “vote for someone who thinks women are full and capable and responsible and intelligent beings,” to vote for “somebody who respects the fact that this is a country built on immigrants,” to vote for the candidate who will “hold people together, not…pull people apart.”  The comments were made before class started, and the professor ended with a comment like, ok, enough from me, let’s get on to…

I don’t know if the student in class who filmed it is a Republican, or Democrat.  I don’t know why the video ended up in the media, as opposed to maybe the Academic Dean’s Office (where I would likely go, if I were offended by something that happened in class).  I learned, through following this news story, that it’s illegal to record someone without their consent in MA.  But I watched the video and thought, really?  This is a news story?  In campuses all over the country, students and professors are engaged in discourse and debate about this election.  In a best world, those conversations are rich in diversity, perspective, and experience.  In a best world, those conversations are safe, respectful, open, and learning-oriented.  In my four years at Mount Holyoke, I had countless conversations like this with peers and professors alike, in class, in the dining halls, on the green.  More voices were liberal than conservative, to be sure, but no voices were disrespectful, or silenced.

He shouldn’t have been using his podium to tell students who to vote for! critics argue.  Um, well…ok, but to get technical, he didn’t actually say any names.  And he was talking to a room full of adults, who have the ability to think critically and evaluate for bias.  When our environment is this saturated in political nastiness, the subject plays into every arena–even my fourth grade classroom.  When my students asked me, point-blank, who I would vote for, did I shout I’M WITH HER! from the desktops, and plaster the walls with Clinton/Kaine posters?  No.  But I couldn’t ignore the question, and did say that having been in my class, they were very familiar with my core values, and that I would have to vote for the candidate that shared those values.  I didn’t know how else I could answer that question, and still validate each of my students (half of them girls, and many of them immigrants, or children of immigrants), and their experiences.  When I attended Mount Holyoke, I absolutely looked up to my professors–they were brilliant, and I did care what they thought about the subjects they taught, and the world we live in.  But that doesn’t mean that I had to blindly accept and agree with whatever they said.

But that’s a digression.  I didn’t start writing this to defend the professor’s remarks, or whether he should have said them at all.  The response to it was what appalled me.  After conservative media picked up this story, Mount Holyoke’s Facebook page began to get bombarded by bad reviews.  In my quick, unscientific analysis, most of these “reviewers” were men, and most had no actual connection to MHC–never been there, never known a student from there.  Over 200 people came to write reviews, ranging from the “it’s inappropriate for a professor to try to sway students’ votes” to angry insults belittling our intelligence, our community, our career and earnings potential, LGBTQ students, international students, our (lack of) patriotism, our decisions to attend Mount Holyoke, our parents for allowing us to do so, our liberal and feminist “brainwashing” and so on, and so on.  This is where I got stuck in the troll battles.

I’m mad as hell about these personal attacks made against the college I call “MoHome” and the brilliant, amazing students, past and present.  But the MHC community has rallied to defend our Alma Mater, and that makes me feel a little better–the Facebook page is now being taken over by 5-star reviews from those of us who have attended MHC, sent our daughters or sisters there, or from allies who have been impacted by the existence of an institution for higher learning that provides a safe space for students to learn, reflect, and grow.  (If you’re at all inclined, feel free to leave your own review!).

I don’t know quite where I’m trying to go with this blog post.  I just think that no matter who you are voting for, civil, respectful discourse should be a baseline expectation.  I think before you attack something or someone (and why do we need to attack?  Question, sure, challenge, if you need to), make sure you’ve compiled the evidence from trustworthy sources (maybe harder to find these days, but not THAT hard).  Defining a college and all of its students from the soundbite of one professor is like characterizing the entire Republican party by its nominee.

Except…in this case, I think a class taught in a lecture hall filled with intelligent women, many of whom are POC, members of the LGBTQ community, immigrants, and international students, who (as evidenced by the video recording) don’t all share the same beliefs, being encouraged by a feminist man to vote for the candidate who views them as human beings with equal rights, before getting to work learning high-level math, is a kind of perfect microcosm of MHC…I would not be the person I am today without my Mount Holyoke experience, and I would strongly encourage anyone who is college-bound, or knows someone who is college-bound, to check it out!

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Choosing Balance

I procrastinated for much of the afternoon.  Until I stopped procrastinating.

No, the project I had planned to do isn’t done.  In fact, I spread out all the pages and documents I would need, and they are still covering the couch and coffee table.  But I stopped procrastinating when I decided it was OK if I didn’t get that project done.  Instead, I ran an errand as a favor for my cousin.  Upon coming home, I pulled in the driveway the same time my neighbors were pulling into theirs.  I walked over to say hello, and as I got close, my neighbor said to his 3-year-old, “Jack, you’re going to get your wish!” To me, “He just said he wished you would come over and say hi.”  Jack came hurtling into the street (Thank goodness we live on a very quiet road!) to hug me, and my heart was full.  Then my neighbor invited me to go for a run with her, and I was terrified, because I haven’t run (or exercised at all, really) in several weeks, and I didn’t want to hold her back or have to stop.  But I said yes, and I made it almost three miles!

Last night I finished reading Beyond Measure.  The summary and implications of that book are deserving of its own blog post, but the long and short of it is: studies show there is no benefit to homework for elementary or middle school students.  For high school students, the benefits fade after two hours of homework.  Author Vicki Abeles points out that the school week (six hours a day, five days a week) of 35 hours is practically what we expect adults to work in a week, and then we add on sports, clubs, jobs, and homework–when do we expect our young people to sleep?  Socialize in unstructured settings?  Daydream, or go outside?  Abeles reminds us that if we are serious about prioritizing health and wellness in our children, we must model it ourselves.  And while I don’t have children of my own, that struck a chord in me.  How often do I tell myself I’m too busy to exercise/read/write/see friends/cook healthy meals?  And how often is this busyness I get caught in real, and how much of it do I construct?

So it’s 7:00 on Sunday, and my work project is not done.  But I exercised, and connected with friends in the process.  I think that makes me a little bit happier, a little bit healthier, and who knows?  That might help me get a good night’s sleep tonight, and be more focused at work tomorrow.  My workweek is going to be a busy one (here I go again with that busyness!), so I’ll do a bit more tonight to try to ease the way–no, I’m not going to tackle the project.  I will prep some healthy food, because I know I never come home from work with the urge to chop and cook vegetables (call Dominoes and have them chop those veggies and put them right on top of my pizza, is more like it).  I’ll pick up and put away around the house, finish folding the laundry, and pack my bags for tomorrow.  I’ll do my work during the hours I’m at work–which tomorrow will be from 8:00 am to 9:00 pm, because of a late meeting.  So I think it’s fine that I didn’t work all weekend.  It’s not an emergency, I’m not missing any deadlines or falling short on any promises.  I’m choosing balance today.

How do YOU remember to choose balance?  What do you let go of, in order to prioritize health and wellness? Please share in the comments!

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Staying Connected

One of the challenges of my position is that I’m struggling to find ways to stay connected to the classroom.  My job is to support teachers through professional learning opportunities, but if I’m not ever in the position to be in classrooms, how will I know what’s needed?

In addition, because of my new role, I am learning so much about teaching and learning!  Through my access to professional learning courses and instructors and reading materials, PK-12, from my new subscriptions to the Marshall Memo, EdWeek, and Learning Forward, and as part of the new administrator induction program in the district, in just these few short weeks, I have become a much stronger teacher/leader.  I have so many new ideas to bring back to the classroom and school levels.

So I have been looking for ways to become more closely connected with the classroom.  I thought that new educators might be the place to start, and so I sat down with our new educator induction program and brainstormed what I might do to support new teachers.  In the spirit of #ObserveMe, learning walks, and peer feedback, we imagined that I could support educators by being a partner on learning walks, videotaping their instruction, providing non-evaluative observations and feedback around a target strategy, or simply being an extra pair of hands in the classroom when a teacher wants to take a risk and try something different.  I was so jazzed about all of this!  I could be such a good learning buddy!

In the conversation, one of the group asked how we would incentivize this.  I agreed–that makes sense.  This is really vulnerable work, and perhaps not many educators would opt in to this sort of thing.  But then, my colleague brought up something that actually had never crossed my mind.  Yea, teachers might feel a little more comfortable doing this with a peer, but they might not be so ready to have the “Coordinator of Professional Learning” dropping in and observing. 

Oh.  Right.

I’m not just your friendly teacher down the hall ready to engage in some reciprocal feedback.  I have a new fancy title, and an office down the hall from the superintendent.  And while I know I’m small potatoes, and I know my intention lies solely in improving our craft, that’s perhaps not the perception others have of me.  So what now?  How do I craft relationships with educators across 10 schools, so that they know my core values, and want to engage in really sticky, important work with me?  Please share!

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Finding my bearings

I’ve been at my new job in Central Office for about two months now, and I have learned so much!  In the beginning, things were pretty slow–it was still summer, people were on vacation.  Also, I didn’t really know what my job entailed; I would do the few things I knew to do, and then find myself in a lull.  But then a project came along, and I worked busily on that; after the project, the school year started and a more steady stream of responsibilities came my way.  These last two weeks, though, have really shown me the new pace of things!  I have been engaged and challenged in so many different arenas–bouncing from my first school committee meeting, to a professional learning class with 60 administrators from the district, to a brief planning meeting with the superintendent, to a collaboration session with administrators from nearby districts.  Finding time to get the “work” done has been difficult, but I find that this new reality often mirrors the teaching schedule that I was missing.

One of the hardest parts of settling into this position was realizing how much time I would spend sitting at my desk, staring at the computer.  This was especially salient for maybe weeks 2-5–week one was spent in awe, and in setting up my office and new systems for work.  And then week two, I settled in at my desk to start the work.  It felt like I didn’t leave that desk the whole week.  That continued for the next few weeks, and I started to panic.  When you’re a teacher, you really don’t sit down.  The entire day is what I imagine an improv comedian’s Friday night to be: you’re on the stage, you’ve got to be flexible and creative and when things get funny, you just have to go with it.  Add to that a classroom on the third floor, and you’re doing at least 5 serious stair climbs a day (arrival, dismissal, lunch, recess, specials, etc.).  My colleagues told me it would get better, that soon I’d be having meetings that got me out of the office, I’d be visiting other schools, I wouldn’t feel so sedentary, and isolated.  And they were right!  But for those few weeks, I was really nervous about what I had gotten myself into.

So, PHEW!  I’m past that now.  And the structure of my days feels a lot more familiar and comfortable to me.  While I’m not teaching a class of students, I am constantly on-the-go, having to adjust to different groups of people and situations.  I have to be “on” all the time, ready to engage in conversations around a huge variety of topics, with incredibly intelligent people (and bonus! In the beginning, imposter syndrome was coming on strong, but this week, I realized that the person sitting in those meetings saying intelligent things was ME!  And that I belonged there!).  I am learning a ton about adult learning, which actually isn’t a whole lot different from kid learning, so that informs my work.  Finally, I’m accumulating “firsts” in this position so quickly, I hardly have time to be nervous about them!  And of course, they are no longer firsts, and I’ve now gained some perspective on that experience.

Looking back, I’m not sure this blog post has a coherent thread.  I started writing, not really knowing what my end game was, and here we are.  I guess this writing is really a celebration.  Changing jobs is HARD, and adjusting takes time, and there are a whole lot of feelings and identity conversations wrapped up in that.  So here I am, celebrating having gotten to this point, feeling more in love with this work than ever and excited and inspired to continue moving forward.  Hooray!

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